


Anger's Song

by Orrymain



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Missing Scene, Relationship(s), Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-05
Updated: 2003-10-05
Packaged: 2019-03-16 14:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13638294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orrymain/pseuds/Orrymain
Summary: ack and Daniel fight, and Jack wonders if he's lost his lover for good.





	Anger's Song

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Boy / Michael Shanks](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Boy_Fanfiction_Archive), wand was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Boy / Michael Shanks collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theboymichaelshanks/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This could be considered a bit of a prequel to the 'They Don't Understand” series, based mostly on the epilogue. Each story can be read independently and can stand alone, however.

  
Author's notes: This could be considered a bit of a prequel to the 'They Don't Understand” series, based mostly on the epilogue. Each story can be read independently and can stand alone, however.  


* * *

Anger's Song

### Anger's Song

#### by Orrymain

Date Archived: 10/05/03  
Website: http://home.comcas.net/~JackandDaniel  
Status: Complete  
Category: Drama, Angst, Relationship, Slash, Missing Scene  
Characters/Pairings: Col. Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson     Jack/Daniel         
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: The Fifth Man, Ascension (but blink and you'll miss it)  
Permission to archive: TheBoy  
Series: They Don't Understand  
Notes: This could be considered a bit of a prequel to the "They Don't Understand� series, based mostly on the epilogue. Each story can be read independently and can stand alone, however.  
Warnings:   
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally at all!   
  
Summary: ack and Daniel fight, and Jack wonders if he's lost his lover for good. 

* * *

Title: Anger's Song  
Author: Orrymain  
Category: Slash, Angst, Missing Scene, Established Relationship Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D Rating: PG-13   
Spoilers: The Fifth Man, Ascension (but blink and you'll miss it) Size: 44kb; short story  
Written: July 22/23/26, 2003  
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally at all! Summary: Jack and Daniel fight, and Jack wonders if he's lost his lover for good. This could be considered a bit of a prequel to the "They Don't Understand" series, based mostly on the epilogue. Each story can be read independently and can stand alone, however. 

Notes:   
1) Used with the author's permission, reference to the characters of Christa and Jacob Svenson are from the wonderful story "New Year's Resolution" by Brenda and ELG which is located at http://bunnyfic.com/Brenda_ELG/NewYearsResolution.htm 

Anger's Song  
By Orrymain 

Jack climbed hurriedly to the roof, carrying a six-pack of beer in one hand, and enough anger to wrestle the Incredible Hulk and win in the other. The air force colonel sulked over to his favorite spot near his telescope, and slowly sank down to the floor of the rooftop decking. He muttered under his breath a few times, nonsensical sounds that were more like grunts than words, and then opened the first beer and took two swigs before muttering some more. 

"Stubborn, obstinate, pig-headed scientist. Who the blazes does he think he is?", Jack shouted, inwardly glad that he didn't have any neighbors close enough to hear his bellowing. Another swig of beer, and then, ""Idiotic, stupid, hardheaded, selfish..." Jack swore under his breath, and took yet another drink of his beer before he continued with his string of verbal assaults, "Crazy, unfeeling, inflexible, contrary, stubborn..." The colonel paused, "I already said stubborn, didn't I?", he asked the stars. "Well stubborn is stubborn, no matter what language it is spoken in." 

With a surge of pent-up frustration, Jack took his unfinished beer and threw it against the front railing of the deck, watching the liquid drip down the posts, and the glass shattering. But Jack remained unmoved in his spot, and reached for another beer, which he opened and sipped casually, with less force than the first. 

"Daniel", spoken violently as if the name had been a swear word, was all Jack said, as he leaned his head against the house and looked up at the moonlit night. Jack remembered other moonlit nights on the roof deck, just he and his lover, reveling momentarily in the vision of moonlight dancing in Daniel's hair, but ultimately, the quiet of the night surrounded him. And then, a few minutes later, he spoke again, this time a soft whisper, "Daniel." 

Jack closed his eyes and recalled his "discussion" with his lover three nights before. The silver-haired man had planned a quiet, romantic evening in front of the fireplace for the two of them, and had gone by Daniel's office to make sure he was about through for the day. Events at the SGC had kept their time together much too brief for Jack's liking, with the linguist having to put in a great deal of overtime to meet the demands being placed on the Archeaology Department. Instead of luring his partner home, the two became engaged in a rapidly heating argument. 

"Jack, don't you think you're over-reacting?" 

"No, Daniel, I'm not. You've been working on those translations for two weeks, and before that you were on that dig with SG-11, and before that was that mess with Simmons when Carter was dating that alien. 

"She wasn't dating him, Jack." 

"I don't care what she was doing, the point is we haven't had any time together since we went jello wrestling with Teal'c, and that's not even close to what I have in mind for tonight, so close the books and lets go home ... now." 

"I'd like to, Jack, but I can't. The Hamerians have only agreed to let us have access to the ruins for a couple of months...." 

"Months? Daniel, you aren't seriously telling me you plan to be locked up in your office at the SGC for months, are you? Tell me you aren't saying that, Daniel." 

"Jack...", Daniel tried desperately to evade his colonel's gaze, but Jack could read him like a book. He was exactly right. Daniel was planning on putting every waking moment into the translations, and odds were, it was going to take every day, and night, the Hamerians gave them. 

"No, Daniel. You have an entire department at your disposal. Use them! You are the head of the unit, and you can delegate, so delegate!" 

Jack's voice was loud and in command tone. He was beyond anger, bordering on furious. Daniel knew their "discussion" could easily get out of hand, and if he didn't contain it soon, they were both going to say things they'd regret later. The problem was, Daniel couldn't give in, and he knew it was like fighting an oil fire to think he could make Jack understand what was at stake. 

"Jack, calm down. The department is overloaded with work. The SGC keeps increasing the number of teams we have going off-world but the money handlers keep forgetting they need the scientists, too, so we're status quo with what we had two years ago even though the number of missions has tripled. Someone has to do the work to validate the discoveries and try to find the mysteries of the places we visit, and as you pointed out, I'm the leader of this area, so it's my responsibility." 

"Daniel, enough already. You are entitled to a night off. One night, Daniel, that's all I'm asking." 

"And as I've said, Jack, I want to, BELIEVE ME, I want to, but the general wants a status report on the Hamerians by 10am in the morning, and I also have to prepare for the meeting with Paul to review.... 

"Davis? You have a MEET-ING with Captain Davis tomorrow?" 

"Jack, you're going to blow a fuse if you don't calm down. Yes, I have a meeting with MAJOR Davis...." 

"No, Daniel, he'll be a captain by the time you see him." 

"Sometimes, Jack, you can be a real pain in the mikta, and right now there isn't a bigger one in the entire universe." 

"Thank you, Daniel. I'll take that as a compliment, and I plan on showing you just how right you are tonight. Tonight, Dr. Jackson, as in NOW." 

"Go home, Jack. Watch a hockey game or something, and I'll get there when I can, but it's probably going to be late. I haven't even started on the research I need for Pa.... Major Davis." 

"And will you be home tonight?" 

"Yes, Jack, later." 

"When?" 

"Later, Jack, as in la-ter." 

Jack finished off his second beer, still reeling from the memory of the first of what had been a string of fights with his archaeologist over the last few days. Okay, so he did over-react to the news of Major Davis's visit, but Jack wasn't happy that in the almost 72 hours since, the Pentagon liaison had spent more time with Jack's lover than he had. Visions of supportive back pats and batting eyelashes danced in Jack's mind, and once again, Jack bellowed out a new string of adjectives to describe his current emotional state: "Frustrating, thoughtless, bull-headed...." Another swig to finish off yet another brew, and then a sigh. "Why aren't you here, Danny?" 

The now melancholic colonel began to open another beer. He recalled more arguments with his lover. Daniel had come home that first night, only it wasn't night, it was morning, 0200 in fact, only to leave the house again by 0700. He'd had his "meeting" with Major Davis in the afternoon, but it ran longer than expected, and the meeting stretched into dinner. "Yeah, right. They had a "meeting"," Jack mumbled to himself. 

The jealousy was raging, the beers not helping Jack to remain rational. But then, Jack hadn't been drinking when he lashed out at Daniel earlier that day about his meeting-turned-supper with Paul "he's just a friend" Davis. Just thinking about the man was making Jack surly. 

Beer wasn't taking Jack over the edge quickly enough. He wanted to forget, to totally lose the reality of the last few days. Slowly rising to his feet, he headed down and entered the living room, opening the liquor cabinet, grabbing the first full bottle of whatever he could find. He didn't care what it was, just wanted it full so he could empty it single handedly, "or would that be single mouthedly," Jack smirked. It didn't matter. 

The colonel wanted to drink up as soon as possible. He started to pick up a glass and then decided he really didn't need it, and swaggered back up to the roof. Returning to his previous spot, he sat down and proceeded on his mission to get drunk. Two hours later, he passed out, still in the same spot on the deck. 

The early morning rays of sunlight woke Jack. "What the...", Jack groaned, as he realized that he must have spent the entire night outside. His neck ached, his arm was numb from having been placed in an uncomfortable position as he had apparently slumped over to his side during the night, and in front of him was an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, which brought Jack's fuzzy mind clearly into focus. 

"Daniel," he spoke silently, with an emptiness that made him momentarily consider staying where he was. "Maybe I'll just sit here and rot. Danny will find me in about a month, when he comes home." A call of nature, however, forced Jack into foregoing his contemplating, so he proceeded carefully down the ladder, into the house, and up the stairs. He paused before he reached his, no their, bedroom, wondering if the man he had pined over all night would be there. 

Finally willing himself to move, Jack entered the room, and stood motionless facing the empty and still made bed. Jack took care of business and then went to kitchen. No sign of fresh coffee; no remnants of nightly grinds. Daniel had not been home. "Oh, Danny," Jack cried inwardly. 

A shower and breakfast later, Jack found himself back on the roof, cleaning his mess from the night before. He washed off the deck and carefully picked up the glass from the broken beer bottle, discarding the pieces and other empties into a bucket. Then he picked up the whiskey bottle, and threw it into the bucket. The bottle broke in two, a distinct crack emerging exactly between the words "Jack" and "Daniels". The symbolism was too much for the supposed hard-nosed colonel, and he cried, giving into his knees and collapsing to the ground. 

A sound disturbed Jack from his ache, and he again went down to the living room, to answer the ringing phone. 

"O'Neill." 

"Sir, are you all right? 

"Carter, I'm fine, and why are you calling me." 

"Sorry, Sir, but the briefing was scheduled.... 

"What briefing, Carter? Oh, right. I'll be there in 20." 

"Sir, ..." 

"Goodbye, Carter." 

Jack hung up and quickly gathered himself together and headed for the SGC. By the time he arrived, his game face was on. A quick apology to the general made, Jack pretended to listen to the facts being presented about the planet they were about to visit, but his attention was on the man who was sitting across from him, the man who had yet to look at him. "Okay, Daniel, you want to play it that way, we will. I'm an expert at denial," Jack told himself, and finally tuned in to the speaking Hammond. 

An hour later, they were on P7S-441. "More trees, just what I needed," Jack thought as SG-1 walked. Daniel still hadn't made eye contact with him, which both frustrated and angered the colonel. "What are you hiding, Danny?", the man asked to no one but himself. 

The next thing Jack knew, he and Lt. Tyler were cut off from the rest of the team, having come under attack from a band of Jaffa. He had a duty to protect the trainee, as this was only the man's third mission with SG-1. The two would have to take cover, and hope a rescue team would get through with reinforcements in time. 

Time, it was passing too slowly for O'Neill. Tyler was getting antsy and the colonel knew something must have happened to slow the progress of the rescue. "We don't leave our people behind. You should know that," Jack reassured the doubting lieutenant before he went on his search for water. As he checked the area, Jack's mind returned to what Tyler had asked him earlier, "what if they never made it back?" "They made it; they had to. Daniel is safe. He has to be," Jack tried to convince himself. 

Night fell, and after a strange conversation about Jaffa, Minnesota and fishing, Jack was lost in thoughts of recent events. He convinced himself his lover was safely on Earth before recounting their series of loud discords. When all was said and done, it came down to one thing. Jack missed his archaeologist. He knew Daniel wasn't cheating on him. Major Davis was a friend and a co-worker, but that's the extent of the young man's interest in Davis. 

Jack also realized that Daniel shouldered a big responsibility. He was uniquely qualified to head the scientific community that resided at the SGC, and he also knew Daniel felt the obligation to come through, to solve all the problems. The Hamerians were just the latest civilization they had come across that may have held the key to the often dreamed of alien technology that would kick goa'uld butt. It wasn't the archaeologist's fault that budget restraints had kept his department from growing enough to keep up with the demands, nor was it his fault that everyone expected Daniel to have the answers, and Jack knew they did. With a sigh and moan of regret, Jack acknowledged to himself, "O'Neill, you're a pain in the mikta and you'll be lucky if Daniel ever speaks to you again." 

Daylight came, and Jack wondered if he was still dreaming. "They were taking me to be dissected and studied," Tyler revealed, "I managed to break free of my cell and damage the guidance system on the transport ship...." Jack listened to the alien known to him as Lt. Tyler and thought maybe it was more of a nightmare than a dream. Maybe his torment of losing Daniel had driven him over the edge, but before he could think about it much longer, the Jaffa attacked. 

The Jaffa gained the upper hand, and for a moment, Jack believed he would finally die, but just as suddenly, Carter, Teal'c and Daniel arrived on the scene, killing their attackers. No words were exchanged between the two lovers, but Jack noted that at least Daniel had looked at him. Jack was looking, too, and had it been another place, he could have stood there for hours, watching his partner doing nothing but watching him. "Have I lost you, Danny?", Jack silently asked himself. 

There was no time for additional contemplation. They had to get off the planet. When they reached the stargate, they found a large number of Jaffa. Jack launched a plan to get more weaponry. "Okay, Daniel, you stay with Tyler; Carter, give him your zat; keep an eye out for patrols; stay out of trouble". Jack, Teal'c and Carter left to get the weapons, leaving Daniel with the alien. 

When they returned, Daniel was lying on the ground. "DANIEL!", Jack shouted inwardly, closing the gap with his teammates. The linguist started to come to, slowly and painfully sitting up. Jack wanted to reach out, and grab him, to hold him, but knew it wasn't the time or place, and besides, he wasn't sure Daniel would even accept any kind of support at all from him right now. Jack settled for the lightest of touches just above Daniel's elbow, but quickly pulled away, sensing his own inability not to do more if he held on. 

"Hey, where's Tyler?" 

"You know, I would have asked him, but I was too busy being unconscious after he shot me with that zat you gave him, so..." 

"Ut oh - pissy archaeologist," Jack thought, also taking note of the very angry look Daniel had given him. He wondered if Daniel would ever forgive him. The question "are you coming home, Danny" flashed through his mind. 

Back to the business at hand, SG-1 battled the Jaffa successfully. Tyler dialed up his home planet, his parting words about meeting again some time in the future, "maybe then you can take me fishing." Jack turned , and noticed Daniel's impartial stare. 

"Daniel, dial us home." The colonel noticed a brief hesitation before the man did as asked, a moment when the two finally exchanged their first look in several days that wasn't totally full of anger. But the moment had ended, and Daniel did as he was asked, and soon they were sitting in the conference room for one of their more unusual debriefings. 

Paperwork done, Jack decided to take the risk of going by Daniel's office, but there was no sign of his lover. Resigned to not seeing the young man, Jack headed to the parking lot, and proceeded to the check out point. As he approached, he saw Carter was chatting with one of the security guards. 

"Headed home, Carter?" 

"Yes, Sir. You?" 

"Where else would I be going?" 

"Well, Sir, ..." 

Sam was doing that stuttering thing she did occasionally when she was about to breach the standard CO/team member thing. Jack recognized the nervous flinch, the lowering of the eyes, and excessive movement of the hands. He motioned for her to follow him away from the security gate, out of the hearing range of the guards and anyone else who might be leaving the facility. 

"Spit it out, Carter." 

"Yes, Sir. Sir, is everything all right with you and Daniel? I mean, obviously, something is wrong. He's been so down lately, and while you were on 441 with Tyler, he seemed pretty detached." 

"Down? What are you talking about?" 

"Depressed, Sir. You must have noticed." 

"Carter, Daniel's practically been living in his office for weeks working on the Hamerian translations. How in Botany Bay am I supposed to know he's depressed when he won't even come home?" 

Jack's anger was beginning to flare, as he combed his fingers through his grayer-than-ever hair. 

"Sir," Sam paused, taking a careful look around to make sure they could not be overheard before continuing, "He's under a lot of pressure, but you know how he feels about you, and quite frankly, Sir, I think he's wondering why you haven't ... well ..." 

**"CARTER!"**

"Sir, yes, Sir, I mean, Daniel is used to you playing mother hen, and even though he says he doesn't like it, well, Sir, he's.... he's used to it, and he'd never admit it, Sir, but he....he counts on you to do it, to draw that line for him when he's too tired to draw it himself, and from the little he told me, you haven't been doing that the last few days, and Sir, I think he's wondering why you haven't dragged him out of his office kicking and screaming.... Sir." 

Jack sighed, and shook his head, then gave a small laugh in mock amusement before clearing his mind enough to respond. 

"We had a fight, Carter. Actually, we had several fights. I was ... wrong." Jack again laughed with amusement as he asked himself, "why is it so hard to say I was wrong when it is so obviously the truth?" He began to drift, sorting through the memories of the recent days and trying to figure out what to do next. 

"Sir? Sir?" 

Jack was snapped out of his flight of memory by Sam's call. 

"Sorry, Carter. I was thinking. Look, this Hamerian business is serious, and Daniel has a tough job. He needs our support, not our jea... our impatience. Truth is, though, I'm not sure Daniel even wants to see me right now. I said some pretty nasty things to him." 

"I'm sure Daniel will understand, Sir." 

"I hope so. You don't happen to know where he went to, do you? I checked his office, but he wasn't there." 

"He left about an hour ago, Sir. He didn't say where he was going, but I just assumed..." 

"You know what they say, Carter, assumptions can be dangerous, but I hope this assumption is right. Goodnight, Carter." 

"Goodnight, Sir." 

As he drove down the mountain, Jack wondered how he could make this mess right. Their fights had been mostly his fault, a result of jealousy and a longing to be with the man he loved. Daniel was only doing his job, a very special job that few others could even attempt. "Why couldn't I just be patient and understanding," Jack said aloud, and how had he missed Daniel's depression. "Have I been so wrapped up in my own feelings that I forgot about Daniel's?" Jack asked himself, trying to find the answer before he reached home. 

Jack turned into his driveway, relieved to see Daniel's car. Entering the house, he took a deep breath, and braced himself, not sure what kind of state of mind Daniel would be in, and no matter what, Jack was determined not to get into another argument. 

Looking around the living room, there was no trace of the man in question, neither could Jack smell the aroma of coffee that would normally be radiating through the kitchen and living area. He headed upstairs, slowly, and reached the door to the bedroom. 

"Hey, Jack," Daniel said almost shyly, adding "You'd probably rather be fishing with Tyler, but ....". Daniel's voiced trailed off to silence, his eyes averting the older man's gaze, the insecurity present in his small voice. The archaeologist was on the bed, leaning against the headboard, wearing his birthday suit and nothing more. 

Jack was surprised. He had imagined several possible scenarios of what might happen when the two men were together again, but this wasn't one of them, at least, not so quickly. Not one to look a gift-Daniel in the mouth, Jack decided to go with the flow, letting a large grin cross his face as he walked to the bed and sat by his lover's side. 

"Hey, Yourself," Jack said, taking his left hand and cupping Daniel's cheek, gently turning the young man's face to look at him, and caressing the apparently recently shaved skin. Daniel closed his eyes at the touch, and then reached out to pull his partner in for their first kiss in a way too many days. The kiss grew in scope and passion, the two men becoming quickly lost in the sensation of each other. 

There were no more words; none were needed or wanted. There was only the physical expression of a love the two men shared that was greater than anything they had ever known. Each took a turn, dominating the other, pushing, crushing, melding their bodies together. It was long and hard, and slow and burning. Their passion consumed them, as they ravished, devoured and loved, over and over again until at last, they collapsed on one another, incoherent, and unable to move, which suited them both as neither man had an desire to move even an inch away from the other. Sleep came quickly, with the younger nuzzled into the older, each holding the other with protective arms. They were human blankets, grounding each other together. 

When morning came, Jack woke first, smiling outwardly at the still tight grip Daniel held on him. His hold on Daniel was equally strong, Jack noticed. "Ah, Danny," Jack said softly, knowing his lover was still sound asleep, "if I could only find a way to tell you how much I love you. It hurts, Danny. I love you so much it actually hurts and sometimes, it makes me crazy, and then I guess I do go crazy, and I take it out on you." 

Jack kissed the shiny hair of the man he held and loved so dearly, as he began slowing stroking Daniel's back with gentle, circular motions that spoke of love and longing just as Jack's words were doing. "I wouldn't know what to do without you. I just .. I wanted you so much that I thought I'd explode." 

Jack let out a small laugh, "who could have imagined this, Danny, that we'd be here like this?" Jack paused his quiet dissertation just long enough to take a good look at Daniel, admiring his form, his beauty, "You are beautiful, Daniel, so beautiful. I'll never let you go, not ever." 

Jack placed yet another kiss on Daniel's hair, and closed his eyes, letting the early morning light dissolve into the quiet of sleep. 

The next time Jack woke, he could sense his partner was awake as well, feeling the soft caresses the man was making on his chest with his slender fingers. Another smile graced Jack's face. Neither man wanted to spoil the moment of their unity, each continuing to serve as a warm blanket for the other. 

"I don't really want to move," Daniel finally spoke, his voice low and hesitant. 

"Me, either", the older man admitted. 

"But..." the lovers spoke in unison. Laughing, Jack added regretfully, "can't argue when nature calls, Daniel", and slowly the couple released each other, and proceeded to tend to their needs. They remained quiet, showering individually, and dressing. Daniel was finished first and headed downstairs to begin his daily coffee ritual. 

When Jack followed, he found the archaeologist, arms folded across his chest, staring out the patio doors at some birds flocking together on a tree. Quietly, but not so quiet as to startle the man who owned his heart, Jack approached and wrapped his arms around Daniel's waist, bowing his head slightly to kiss his lover on the side of neck. Daniel smiled, and leaned back into Jack, placing his hands on Jack's as they held him. 

"Danny, we need to talk." 

"Believe it or not, Jack, right now, I really don't want to talk about anything. I just .... I just want to stay here, like this, for a while, okay?" Daniel gently rubbed Jack's hands as he spoke, trying to say with touch that he wasn't pushing Jack away. 

"Sure, Daniel, whatever you want." Jack tried to sound supportive, but a Daniel who didn't want to talk was a Daniel to be concerned about. 

They stood, not moving, just holding and touching, watching the birds in the trees, until the aroma of the brewing coffee began to call out to the younger man. "Coffee's done," Daniel said as he pulled out of Jack's hold and poured his first cup of the day. 

They ate a quick breakfast, and then went their separate ways for a while. Jack had gone to study where he made a few phone calls, and then finished reading the current issue of National Geographic. 

They still had a couple of hours before they had to leave for the mountain, SG-1 having been given the morning off. Hammond had wished he could have given his flagship team 48 hours, but there were too many demands calling for their attention, not the least of which were the Hamerians. Jack decided it was as good a time as any to try one more time to get Daniel to talk; if he let it go, he knew it would only be harder to deal with later. 

Jack found his linguist sitting on the bed in the spare room, the room once referred to as Daniel's room. The younger man was on the edge of the bed, facing the dresser, leaning forward, his hands clasped together in front of him. Daniel was so deep in thought that he never noticed Jack standing at the doorway, nor did he hear his lover approach and sit down gently next to him, not realizing Jack was there until he felt their shoulders touching, as was their norm when they sat side by side. 

"Hey," Daniel said almost as a hush. "Hey," Jack said with a small smile, equally softly. The two were looking in each other's eyes, and for a moment they simply stared as the silence surrounded them. Jack knew if they were going to talk, he was going to have to take the lead. 

"I wasn't sure you'd be here when I got home last night. It's not easy for me to admit, but I was scared that I'd pull into a vacant driveway and walk into a empty house. I thought you might have decided to go to the apartment." 

"I...I thought about it, and I ... was going to, I mean I had planned to come here and get a few things I needed and then go there, to the apartment." Daniel had turned away from Jack, his eyes now finding every loose thread in the carpet. 

"I'm glad you didn't, Daniel, but you should know that had you followed through, I would have been right behind you. I'm not giving up on us, Daniel, not now, not ever." 

Jack's heart fluttered with joy when he saw his love's face brighten, a hint of a glimmer finally shining in Daniel's blue eyes. 

"We'll be okay, Danny. We just ... hit a bumpy patch of road, that's all." 

"Yeah, I know," Daniel acknowledged reluctantly, risking a quick look at the older man before returning to the carpet. 

"So, what made you change your mind and stay, and I'm definitely not complaining here, but geez, Danny, I was afraid you wouldn't even speak to me. I certainly wasn't expecting to find you ... waiting for me ... like .... like that." 

Daniel laughed, "naked as a jaybird?" 

"Naked as the most beautiful jaybird ever born," Jack crooned into Daniel's ear, placing another kiss on his nape. How Jack loved to kiss Daniel's neck, and ear, and ... oh heck, Jack loved to kiss Daniel everywhere! 

"So are you going to tell me why you changed your mind?" 

"The Svensons." 

"Christa and Jacob?" Jack laughed. Their elderly neighbors had brought a fresh air to the neighborhood from the moment they moved in across the street right before New Year's Day a few years before. The couple had figured out about Jack and Daniel almost immediately, and were still only part of a very finite group who knew the colonel and linguist were hiding in plain site. 

"When I got home, and got out of my car, they were outside, bickering about something." 

"I'm going to guess Jacob picked up the wrong brand of coffee again." 

Daniel laughed, "Probably. Christa was picking some flowers and Jacob was pruning the edges, and they kept on bickering. I couldn't hear what they were saying exactly, but, you know, you can tell when people are arguing. For a minute, I thought their argument was going to escalate; they got louder and more animated. I ... I thought about getting their attention, but .... I just watched, like some voyeur or something." 

"Remind me to check the bathroom for hidden cameras." 

**"JACK!"**

"Sorry. Go on. What happened?" 

"Nothing really except just when I thought it was getting out of hand, Jacob let out with this big laugh, and then so did Christa, and then he went over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and they kept laughing. That's when they saw me. I didn't want to talk, though, so just waved and hurried into the house. The next thing I knew, there was Christa, bringing us some of her roses." 

"Roses? I didn't notice any roses. Where are there?" 

"I put them in the study." 

"Roses in the study, Daniel?" 

"The room needs something to cheer it up, Jack. We really need to get some new furniture and maybe new drapes, and ..... and, we're getting off the subject." 

"That's okay, Love." Jack felt himself grin. This was the first time in days he felt safe in using that endearment with Daniel. "Go on. What did the Little Wonder say?" 

"She asked if I had been out of town because she hadn't seen me much during the week, and she said ..... she said you looked like Jacob does when he's in the doghouse." 

"I hope that's a big house," Jack chuckled. 

"She asked if we'd come over for dinner Friday. I think she knows that we've ..." 

"...hit a little rough patch." 

"Yeah." 

"She wants to remind us what's important, Daniel. It's not coffee or sports, or even the stargate, it's us. We're important, to each other. Did you tell her we'd be there?" 

"I couldn't say 'no', Jack. I didn't have a prayer. When she left, she gave me one of her knowing smiles, and told me not to worry, said you were just like Jacob." 

"Cute and adorable?" 

"Trying and aggravating!" 

"Oh" 

"But loveable, too, and worth the effort." 

"Am I? 

Daniel leaned in and kissed Jack. "Worth every frown." 

They kissed, and kissed again. Jack placed one hand on Daniel's cheek, and smiled as Daniel leaned into it, and sighed. 

"Daniel, we're going to fight sometimes. Most couples do, but we have to remember that at the end of the day, we are still "us", and nothing else matters. I remember watching one of those magazine shows once. That guy from that bouncer movie was on, you know, the dirty dancer guy..." 

"Patrick Swayze." 

"Yeah, he was talking about how he and his wife argue a lot. He said something, 'our fights are huge, but our love is huge." I thought that was a pretty cool line and never forgot it, and now I'm glad because it's us. We've never done anything half way, Daniel. What we feel for each other is so great that the highs are in the sky, and the lows, well, fortunately, we don't have them very often, but we wouldn't be human if we didn't falter some of the time. The point is, our love is huge, and no matter how much we fight, what we feel will always be stronger. I love you, Daniel. Always remember that." 

"I know, and I love you, too." 

The two lovers were leaning in towards each , their foreheads touching, hands gliding their way over the other's body. 

"I wish we didn't have to go back to the SGC today." 

"Me, too, but you have those translations to work on, and I have a stack of paperwork. No way to get out of that. Maybe tonight we can...." 

Jack paused, and pulled back slightly from the archaeologist. Daniel looked up trying to understand why Jack had put a little distance between them and now looked lost in thought. 

"Jack?" 

"Danny, I was wrong, and I need you to know that. The fights were my fault, and I'm sorry. I was jealous and being obnoxious. Darn it, Daniel, I can't stand being away from you, and I let it build up, and took my frustration out on you. I'm sorry, Love, and I hope you can forgive me." 

"Old cliche, Jack, but it takes two to fight, and you weren't totally wrong. I tend to think I have to solve the questions of the universe by myself; I .... I forget that I'm not very good at that when my own world is falling apart." 

"So, we're good to go?" 

"Yeah, Jack, we are." 

The two shared a tender kiss and a warm embrace and then headed downstairs. 

"So, Daniel, remodeling?" 

"Only the study, Jack, at least for now. I was thinking maybe tonight we could take some measurements and go over some ideas I have." 

"What about the translations, Daniel? Don't you have to work on those?" 

"I'll be working on those every day for as long as possible until we can decipher the ruins, but Nyan has been working with me on it, and I think he can make some progress on his own tonight. Besides, like I said, Jack, you weren't totally wrong. I need to have a life, too, and .... and you are my life, so how about we work on those plans tonight?" 

"I love you, Dr. Jackson, you know that, don't you," Jack asked as he pulled Daniel into a long and hard kiss, one that wound up in a long bout of tongue wrestling. 

"I would hope you didn't kiss someone like you just did if you didn't." 

"Only you, Danny, only you, but if you need to work late, I will understand. I won't like it, because I don't like being away from you, but I will understand. I promise, Daniel." 

"No, Love. It'll probably be later than normal, but I'll be home by 8pm at the latest, and that's a promise." 

Jack suddenly remembered his conversation at the SGC with Carter the day before. Grinning, he replied, "and if you don't, Dr. Jackson, I promise you that I will personally come and drag you away, kicking and screaming if necessary, even if I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you for all to see." 

"Jack, you wouldn't," Daniel couldn't contain himself from smiling, even though he was trying to act outraged. 

"Oh yes I would, so you just make sure you get your beautiful body home by 8!" 

"Yes, Sir," Daniel mocked in an obedient tone, as the two men gathered their jackets and keys, stealing one more brief kiss before they walked out the door. 

"Danny?", Jack called out as they walked to their cars, "I think we need to do something special for Christa and Jacob. We owe them a lot." 

Another smile hit Daniel's face, as he responded, "Yeah, Jack, we do. We can talk about that tonight, too." 

Two simultaneously mouthed "I love you's" were silently uttered, and then Jack and Daniel headed for the mountain, both happy and at peace again. 

//Epilogue - A Note from Daniel's Personal Journal// Jack is lying next to me on the bed, snoring lightly but with a happy smile pasted to his face, a smile I placed there from tonight's love fest, as my colonel called it. The last week has been pure torture. All the fights and time apart were misery. 

I wish Jack would get it through his thick skull that not only do I not have time to look at anyone else (let alone do anything about it), but I don't want to look at another person, male or female. He's it for me, the complete package. I know what it's like to be in ectasy, not just from sex, but from love, and that euphoric state comes from loving him, and being loved by him. It's so overwhelming that it scares me, and sometimes, I want to run away from it, and go back to hiding inside of myself. 

But today, as I watched the Svensons, I realized that I couldn't hide inside, because Jack is there, in the very core of my being. But even so, I didn't want to run; if I had, I would have just gone to the apartment. Truth is, I didn't really need anything I didn't already have there. It was an excuse to come home and find a reason to stay, and thankfully, I did. 

Jack apologized again for being jealous, and promised he wouldn't try and have Paul sent to some remote pothole in the universe, but I think I'd better keep an eye on the situation. My colonel's eyes make the transition from chocolate brown to green without too much provocation. 

Someday, I hope people understand who Jack really is. On P7S-441, he took a leap of faith in helping "Tyler", an alien who had us believing he was a member of SG-1. He makes decisions I never could, nor want to. His reputation in the military is that of some hard-nosed officer who mouths off and isn't afraid to kill you if you get on his bad side, or those of his teammates. They know he's tough, loud, confidant, and won't take guff from anyone. 

What they don't see, is the man inside, my marshmallow, who makes me feel like a treasured gem, the man who holds me to keep me safe, cries if I cry, hurts when I hurt, and despairs when occasionally it looks like our world might shatter. Sometimes I wonder what people might think of My Jack and I, if they could look through some glass window and see the love we share, hear the whispers of our emotions, touch the fabric of our souls, and feel the connections that bind us. 

The Svensons accepted my relationship with Jack from the beginning. Senior citizens born in decades where same-sex relationships were the essence of sin and immorality. And yet, this wonderful couple saw our hearts, not our genders, and there's a part of me that wishes we could reach others who still see us as rejects of society or see what we do together as some perversion or depraved act. 

I won't let Jack jeopardize his career, but maybe one day, when he's retired or if the laws catch up with humanity, we can find a way to speak out. It's a scary thought. I don't know how we'd do it, how we could share our experiences when so much of what we do is classified, and if I'm honest, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings is not something I do easily; yet, maybe this ....cause, this need to dispel dark aged philosophies, is more important than protecting myself from a bit of discomfort. 

I'm tired; it's been a long week. I'll have to talk to Jack some time about maybe doing a diary of our lives, and how we love in spite of the nightmares we've faced. He's as private as I am, but he's not afraid of standing up for what he believes in either, so maybe we can help each other to find the courage to speak out, one way or the other. But first, we have to get the study in shape. 

We're going shopping for some new furniture this weekend, though we haven't quite agreed on the accessories yet. He can try to persuade me all he wants with new ways of eating ice cream, but we aren't getting one of those jiggling girl paperweights for the desk. Sometimes, I wonder if my colonel will ever grow up. 

We also came up with a way to thank Christa and Jacob. They both like to sit outside and enjoy the comings and goings of the neighborhood, so we're going to get them one of those swinging benches, with just enough room for two so they can snuggle as they watch. We'll talk to them about it Friday night at dinner, and set a date to take them shopping with us. 

Ut oh! Jack's snoring has stopped and his hand is.... Oh g..................... //End of Daniel's Personal Journal// 

Daniel remained tired, as he was occupied the rest of the night by his lover, and they weren't picking out drapes or paperweights! He'd have to finish writing his journal entry tomorrow, and if he were being honest, he'd admit he wouldn't have it any other way!   
  


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